Thursday, May 08, 2014

C'mon Man, Give Him to Chicago

The National Football League draft is under way. What a relief; fans and sportswriters with nothing useful to do have been speculating about their favorite teams' choices for a couple of months. It's tiresome.

I've never played that game. Unless your team has one of the top two or three picks, guessing about selections is a total waste of time. My guys, the Green Bay Packers, employ a squad of scouts and personnel experts to chart draft picks. They're pretty good at it. They don't need or want fan help.

Ha Ha was no laughing matter at Alabama
This year, the Pack has a glaring need to pick a top-flight safety. The fans have become enamored of a young man with an improbable name--Ha Ha Clinton-Dix. That's right, "Ha Ha." He is an excellent player--big, fast, and fearless, but here's hoping some other team will step up to employ him.

I must admit the Alabama star would fit right into the Packers secondary should it perform as laughably as it did last year. But let's get serious, pro ball is a tough game that deserves guys with tough names. Anyone seen the plaque in the NFL Hall of Fame dedicated to Bronco Nagurski?  Now, that's a tough name.

In Ha Ha's defense it should be understood that his real name is Ha'Sean. His grandmother bestowed the Ha Ha knickname on him. Rumor has it he and his coaches love it. With all due respect, I don't.

I'm pulling for da Bears to draft him before he can fall into the Packers' clutches. I can hear the Lambeau Field fans roaring as the PA announcer blasts out, "Lacy carried; tackle by Ha Ha."


Dick Klade said...

So who did the Packers select with their first draft pick? None other than HA HA CLINTON-DIX!!!! Why don't they ever listen to me? After all, I'm a stockholder. Would Dallas treat Jerry Jones this way?

Alan G said...

Ha, Ha (no pun intended) - but you asked for that one didn't you! Never say never. Obviously you and your block of stockholders have no clout whatsoever.

Dick Klade said...

Rumor has it the Packers tried to trade Ha Ha to Minnesota today, but all the Vikings offered was a fourth-string linebacker named Cuddles Callahan. said...

I don't follow football at all, but read in our local paper of some rock star whose appearance on TV had been scuttled by a football game. Seems the guys would rather watch football than a half naked singer. What is the world coming to?